Tryouts: The Pain and the pain.
I will skip the obvious conclusion that there is pleasure in being selected for a team. A player puts herself out for assessment, plays their hardest, shows their qualities and makes a squad. High risk, high reward and great joy.
But what about everyone else, players and coaches alike?
I will start with coaches.
Coaches:
It is important to remember one thing about coaches. They are first and foremost human. This very important quality tells you that they take no pleasure in sitting in a form of judgement over fellow human beings. Court room judges will often state to the gallery that sitting in judgement of ones fellow person is the hardest job of all, even in judgement of criminals.
Who are coaches assessing? Typically young persons, with all their strengths and frailties, their friends children, players they have known over the years that they want to succeed, friends of their own children, maybe even players they may have coached in the past. If you look closely at this list their is no on one here that they would personally want to fail.
Coaches are typically parents, who are involved with their Club and community, have a high interest in the success of all young people and are persons who want to develop success. So, the very nature of the tryout process is antithetical to the coaches persona, they are being asked to “fail” a player, when their essential purpose is to develop success.
The other challenge facing coaches is, for want of a better expression, acquiring “inventory” to create a squad. This has many contributing factors including the nature of the system the coach wants to place on the field, 5-3-2, 4-4-2, 3-5-2, 4-3-3. Each of these systems requires greater or lesser numbers of fullbacks, midfielders, or strikers etc, and complimentary skill sets for these positions.
If the system requires 4 starting fullbacks and 3 reserves and only 8 fullbacks tryout, only one player will need to be cut. A very tough call. If the squad requires 3 midfielders with three subs and 15 players show up, the tough decisions are multiplied and and the disappointment increased as well.
The coaches challenge is to fill an inventory of the best 18-20 players, and as a consequence disappoint at least that many players (or more), their parents and in some instances their team mates.
The Players
Here is where the ball hits the post. So close, but no goal. What is the player? The player, as a player, is inventory, a potential physical asset to a team. But that is such a small part of the person (note NOT player). The tryout and possible selection is a very BIG thing at this instant in time, and because it is so big and because of the tension, the ego, the developing and maturing personality (remember hormonal teenagers) and personal investment placed into this by the player, its importance is magnified beyond all recognition.
The pain of not being selected is enormous and their is very little the coach can do to assuage it. But it is important to let the players know why the selections were made the way they were, that they weren’t personal, not withstanding how personal it feels, and to provide the player with the technical and tactical feedback necessary to go forward and to try again in the future. The player needs to know this isn’t the end it is just another step in the journey. It only ends if they quit.
Parents
As parents we feel pain if our child feels pain. Our response is to defend our child and lash out at the attacker. Why wouldn’t we? They cause him pain, I am going to fix that right now. This feels right, but it isn’t always the right thing to do. The first thing to do is comfort the player, let them know, at the very worst, that this a right now thing, and has no bearing on their future play or opportunities. Remember that Clubs and coaches want these players to continue to play and improve.
Another very important thing to do is to wait before you call coaches and Technical assessors after the tryout, wait at least 24 hours, and if you are still boiling mad, wait longer. Why? No one presents or hears arguments very well if they are still angry.
Perspective, do you have it? Remember who you were watching at tryouts? Two players, three, four? Most parents usually watch their own. The coaches,they have to watch, AND assess as many players as there are present. Does the parent have a complete perspective? Probably not.
Conclusion
It feels like the end of the world, but it isn’t. It is just another step in character building, it is part of life, and I would suggest that more is learned from this challenge than in making the squad. It is an opportunity to grow.
Many years ago I called a client and advised him that his proposal had been rejected and that it would go no further. It was a significant business loss for him. He said to me "If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, well that's not so bad". He just picked up, moved forward and developed other business initiatives. He knew from experience of years that he would lose some , win some, lose and win again. He had his family, his health, and he still had his game which was his business. He knew that one failure, although painful and costly, was not the end of his world.
Not making the team is not failure it is part of the developmental process. Not continuing with the game because of a personal setback. That is failure.
WALK ON
YNWA
Hal White
